Believe, Katrina @ Unsplash

My word of the year for 2020: Believe

Welcome 2020! What will you bring me, what will you do, what will I find, where will I go, what will I learn, where will I grow.  So many questions and so many days to find out. So many days and all so fast in each moment. I believe I am ready for you 2020.

My word of the year for 2020 is BELIEVE. 

I believe I will make steps if not strides towards my long term goals

This is year #2 of my goal setting. Which means it has huge upside potential. I now understand goals, I understand how I have achieved or not achieved them, I understand how I motivate myself and track my progress. Last year I said I wanted to drink more water. This year I say I want to drink on average 2 bottles of water a day. It does not meet external standards (which can cause me embarrassment), but I now know it only has to meet MY standards. And it quantifies it in a way that I can’t hide from it. Day 1 was today. I drank 1.5 bottles. I am on my way.

No, drinking more water is not a long term goal that I have. But being healthier and keeping a better personal fitness is a 2020 goal. And if I can improve my short/ medium term goals, I have no doubt I can improve towards my long term goals as well. As long as I keep them all connected, I believe I will move further along.

For 2020, I believe I will move forward. I believe my goals get clearer every day, and alongside it what I need to do to achieve it.

I believe I will find joy in the small moments and peace amongst the rush of life

During 2019, I have built up on more JOMO in my life. The Joy of Missing Out is a great tool to be able to live a fulfilled life, one that feels fulfilled. Since 2015, I have perfected getting myself out of the happiness trap. I know I am far from perfection, but I no longer strive for perfection. Every year, I strive to make yet better choices and have yet less guilt.

Oh the endless guilt. It is a companion on a daily basis but its voice loses strength. Guilt is no longer there when I am enjoying time with the children, it is no longer there when I enjoy a moment of writing for myself, it is no longer there when I chose to go out for dinner with friends. It is still quite a lot there when I stay at work late, when I leave every morning and see my children waving at the window not taking them to school, it is still there when Baby S says “Mummy, why is it not holiday anymore, why are you going to work?”. It is there when I don’t deliver for UPG on time, it is there when the team needs me and I have only a few hours before sleep takes priority (today, clearly sleep has lost the fight).

For 2020, I believe in my choices. I believe each moment will be the right one and each day will give me the opportunity to make renewed choices aligned with my values.

I believe I can make my own choices and I am not limited by fear

There are so many things I should do. As a good mother, as a good wife, as a good employee, as a good friend, as a good daughter, as a good sister, as a good person. The list goes on. Well, I ban the word should from my life. I have done it before and I re-affirm my intention. I can make my own choices with no fear of judgement. I know what I want to be, I know life is indeed make of hard choices and I want to be even better at the compromises that I achieve. But they will be my compromises and my choices.

I chose to no longer feel suffocated by any preconceived limitations. Thinking back to my abundance reflection, it is time I only see abundance in my choices. I believe I can operate with no fear of loss, I believe I can operate with no fear of failure.

For 2020, I believe in abundance. I believe I can generate more from my own choices, not less. That I can chose, not fear. That I can live, not suffocate.

I believe I will become what I wish to become

There are so many things I want to be. The truth is, writing down goals is sometimes hard for me. I really need to make an effort to limit myself to a few important pillars in my life – my family, my authenticity through writing, my charity. You may notice work missing here, but it is not really. I keep my work goals away from my personal goals, which was probably the best thing I have done last year, given the massive under-achievement in that area. I am still to find out how to re-frame work goals when the ones you have fail because of factors you can’t control. But I digress.

I believe I can become what my vision is. For instance, I believe I can be a peaceful parent. By believing that, I can be that. Rather than believing that I am an anxious mother, easily snapping at the children at 9.00 pm because they still want a bathroom run for the nth time this evening and I really want to go send an email. Because if I believe I am snappy, I certainly will snap. So I believe I am peaceful and I know over time that is what I will become.

This is not a platonic conception of what I want to become, don’t worry. Naturally, I have a plan. I am doing a course, I am using their tools, I am taking one day at a time. I am breathing when I get angry, and sometimes I am still getting angry. But I am apologizing when I cross the line, I am asking for help when I feel like I am on the edge. I am taking the right steps to become.

For 2020, I believe dreams can come true (as long as you have a plan). I believe I can be what I want to be. And I believe I can grow into what I want to grow.

I believe in me

Yes. I do. And that’s odd. It’s almost hard to write. 2019 showered me with moments of gratitude, gestures of appreciation, feelings of accomplishment and others not so much. It was a good but challenging year. It has only been a year since I have taken a look at myself and was surprised to see someone I believe in. It took me almost 38 years to get there. But now I do. And I know for 2020, that will be my greatest asset.

Believing in me, and what I can, and WILL do. 
unsplash-logoKatrina

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