Posted by “If you were a material, which one would you be?” This question caught my attention this week as I finished Dare to Be You by Matthew Syed with my 8-year-old. Rubber was the winning one, and unlike other similar questions he describes in the book (like “What cake would you be?” or “What city would you be?”), for this question, it does feel like he just nailed it. Rubber. Well, in fact, he didn’t. His brother Andrew did!
The Book
This is my second children’s book by Matthew Syed. Originally, I read Bounce, and I recently found out about the children’s versions of a lot of the concepts he puts out. I bought You’re Awesome! first, a book to help kids build confidence and develop a growth mindset. I hoped the stories of “Kid Average” and “Kid Awesome” would inspire Little Girl C. to better deal with setbacks, especially in her artistic gymnastics quest. She didn’t take it on, but Baby S. did. He has always loved audiobooks and likes real stories, so listening to this one together became our special thing in the car. After You’re Awesome, we went straight to Dare to Be You, which encourages children to embrace their individuality and resist the pressure to conform or act “cool.” It is full of small stories that reflect how Matthew chose his own path (or not) when he was younger. I am a believer books find us when we are willing to listen, and this one certainly has.
If You Were a Material…
As Matthew was slowly trying to listen less to “Kid-Doubt”, especially when there were bumps on the road, he struggled to understand what resilience meant. It was a word used by his coach quite a lot, especially after he lost a game. It is only when he is in the middle of yet another family question, “If you were a material, what would you be?” that it really hits him. As Matthew himself highlights:
“Strength is not about never falling; it’s about always getting back up.”
The family celebrates Andrew (Matthew’s brother) as the winner when he ultimately chooses Rubber. Why? Would I choose rubber? As I was writing this, the song London Bridge is falling down invades my mind and I can’t help but think – you can be strong as iron, but iron will bend and break; you can be valuable as gold, but gold and silver can be stolen away, stone might be unbreakable, but it cracks under extreme pressure, wood and clay can look solid, but they can crumble down under dire conditions.
Then I wondered what the song would say about rubber? Well, I could not think of one, but ChatGPT could:
“Rubber bridges won’t fall down, bounce back up, strong and sound.
Stretch and flex, but it won’t break, rubber bends for every quake.
Gold is stolen, iron bends, but rubber lasts and always mends.
Hold it tight, don’t let it go, rubber’s strength will always show.”
It’s fun, and rubber may not be the best material to build a bridge, but if you are looking to emulate a few handy attributes, it might just be your material! Andrew’s choice highlights rubber’s practical attributes: flexibility, resilience, durability. It also brings up the power of thinking differently. In reality, how many of us would really choose rubber over a fancier material?
Rubber is Flexible
Rubber can stretch and shape itself to various situations. In this case, it demonstrates the ability to embrace new challenges and to adapt to changes in your situation. Now, this is not to say kids should adjust to everyone and deviate from their own path. It just means not getting stuck when situations change or finding alternatives in the face of unexpected events. Rubber’s elasticity means it stretches but it does not break easily, teaching us to be adaptable and recoverable.
It applies to business too. The term “pivot” is widely used in the startup world and is often used as a badge of honour. It is the willingness to change, grow, and adapt that can determine success.
When you keep searching for ways to change your situation for the better, you stand a chance of finding them. When you stop searching, assuming they can’t be found, you guarantee they won.
Angela Duckworth
Rubber is Resilient
Rubber is one of those materials that can endure quite a lot. It’s no wonder that tires are made of rubber. Arguably, we face potholes and bumps on the road every day. But it is only on the odd day (or so we hope!) that we may go flat-tire. Rubber is fairly resistant to different circumstances and can be pressed and stretched and still survive. In fact, rubber is used in shock absorbers and cushions, precisely because it allows us to absorb shocks without breaking.
And more Importantly, it bounces back. At the end of the day, what matters is how we come out of setbacks and if we come back.
In business, as in life, companies will go through cycles, different CEOs, different trends. But it is their ability to adjust to bumps and troughs that determines long term durability.
Enthusiasm is common. Endurance is rare.
Angela Duckworth
Growth Mindset
Maybe I am biased, and it would be no surprise given the name of this blog, but it all links back to growth. A while back, Carol Dweck brought me “growth mindset”, and it has been a process. For a perfectionist like me, to adopt this concept that failure can be a learning experience rather than a dead-end took some huge strides. And raising kids has shown me the utmost importance of spreading this concept further and really embracing it, not just by speaking it, but by living it.
If parents want to give their children a gift, the best thing they can do is to teach their children to love challenges, be intrigued by mistakes, enjoy effort, and keep on learning.
Carol Dweck
Over time, becoming more flexible released a lot of my inner tension and inner pressure on myself. It also made me more resilient and able to deal with setbacks while giving me a greater ability to take risks.
I have to agree with the choice of material. Rubber might just be the material for me. It is a versatile material and it reflects well how to navigate through different challenges but also through different phases of life, serving different roles, thriving in a multitude of environments. And by the way, rubber is non-slip, so as we develop resilience we have more traction and are able to maintain a firm footing in life’s slippery moments.
What material would you be? Strong like steel? Transparent like glass? Or resilient like rubber?
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