As the world gets increasingly digital and somewhat artificial, one can’t help but think of how crucial personal relationships are. Relationships of trust, alliances of support, transactional safe-havens. I am not talking about geopolitics, but some similarities will be undeniable.
An era of digital connectivity
The emergence of social media had deep effects in our daily lives. A major one is that it gave us the illusion of being connected to more people and to a deeper level than we really are, just because we see them daily in our feed. We like, we support, and perhaps we even comment (though perhaps rarely on our friends and more often on influencers across the globe). We have hundreds, sometimes thousands, of friends or followers.
But when asked to evaluate who really should be there at our birthday party, perhaps we don’t always make it to double digits. Or perhaps we invite a wide group, but they don’t show up.
The need for connection
Human nature seeks connection. If anything, we need it to survive over generations. But I think we have all seen sufficient studies on how relationships are the source of happiness.
Connection is hard work, and it is not always easy. In a world where every silly mistake can be posted online at the flash of a phone, people are afraid of exposing themselves. And inheriting a decade of focusing their relationship development on emojis and a screen does not make it any easier.
We all need to learn the balance where we can use technology to facilitate our relationships but not to replace them.
I often get connected to emerging entrepreneurs, and it is no surprise that so many are focused on developing better communities that use the power of technology to connect people, but that really double down on the irreplaceable virtue of in-person events. They do it not out of altruism, but because many in the new generations are willing to pay for it, and they are looking for it.
A practical example
I think I have left it clear that I am not a huge networker. I like connecting to people at a deeper level and, generally, I don’t feel like that is easy to do in a large networking event. However, as I have changed my approach in recent years to focus on developing a few deep connections even if the event has 200 people, this has helped me manage my anxiety and the efficacy of each event.
I have over 4000 followers on LinkedIn. I am not bragging; it just feels like a big number to me. So, in the spirit of deepening my network and ensuring I understood who I really was connected to, I started making my way through my LinkedIn Network Pages. One by one, I looked at the profiles for my connections, looked at areas of similarity and, in many cases, dropped them a note offering an exploratory call.
I am only down to the first 100, and I focused on women entrepreneurs first (sorry guys, I will get there!), but from the perhaps 20 emails I sent out, I received more than 50% replies, and I started to have calls to meet them. Often, people have been surprised and actually appreciated the approach. Most of them did not know why we were connected either.
I decided to transform networking into connection.
An era of misinformation
The other deep effect is that most of us started getting a good portion of the information from social media. I say “us” even though I mostly avoid the news, because no matter how hard I try, I am still exposed, and I still read them. In the digital space, we relate to what we see, and we get locked into echo chambers that make us feel connected and right, because we only see the ones that think as we do.
As the news became less reliable over time, we started to doubt. I am a big fan of doubting, after all, I teach Critical Thinking to university students. However, we start to doubt one another’s intentions in unprecedented ways. In a world where we are the product of social media companies, we wonder about the information we see, about the pictures our friends post (often filtered) and even the things they tell us.
It’s good to question, but is it good to always be in doubt?
The need for trust
The development of societies has often relied on the build-up of trust. With trust, we have created monetary systems that allowed nations to grow and prosper. With trust, we have entered allegiances to maintain peace and protect human rights. With trust, we have acted in a collective manner, often seeking the greater good without the full benefit for the individual.
“Trust is hard to define, but we do know when it’s lost. When that happens, we withdraw our energy and level of engagement. – Forbes“
We hear it from different places how trust has been lost. Has it? You look at elections, and the votes against the established systems suggest there is no more trust in the system. The system stopped working for a large part of the population. And as the trust eroded to the individual, it has also eroded for society.
” The 2026 Edelman Trust Barometer reveals a world retreating towards insularity. As economic anxiety, geopolitical tension, and technological disruption intensify, people are narrowing their world to smaller, familiar circles that reflect their views, and this hinders economic and societal progress.” – Edelman Trust Barometer
An era of individualism
A mix of digital, pandemic and extreme inequality has created a perfect storm for a more individualistic culture to arise. The lack of trust is just the cherry on top of the cake. If we can’t trust our politicians, we will not play by the rules and vote for the extreme. And if we can’t trust our bosses, we silently quit. If we can’t trust our friends, we slowly withdraw. If we can’t trust our families, we create rupture.
The “loneliness pandemic” seems more real than ever. You put it on google and there are studies from all major universities. And it is not a mental pandemic alone – the effects in our bodies and our lives are real.
“Social disconnection – when a person lacks sufficient social contact, feels unsupported in their existing relationships, or experiences negative or strained connections – is an increasingly serious but often overlooked danger to health and well-being”. – World Health Organization
Many of us withdraw because we think it is the only way to deal with a world that is fake and digital. When, in the end, by withdrawing, we put our lives in danger.
The need for allegiances
Here and there, you hear a lot of talk about living in community. There are community living spaces being developed and co-working spaces that have only desks and no community are likely to be the least popular.
When I gave my commencement speech to the Nova SBE class of 2025, one of my pieces of advice to them was to find their tribe. A tribe that supported them, and challenged them. A tribe they could trust and to whom they could connect.
Walking the path alone must feel like sky-lining without a net (or safety harness). Not that I would physically know, as I would not dare try it, but it is a good analogy nevertheless. Walking alone limits our ability to reach wider, but also our ability to walk taller. There is indeed a multiplier effect in having a community, in forming allegiances.
The fear of the artificial
As if all this was not enough, AI came. Yes, I am still a fan of AI. But we can’t stop to look at how it has impacted all of the above. And it is not just our jobs and our work. It is also our relationships. In 2025, the use of AI has gone from a productivity tool to a key source of emotional support and companionship.
“Therapy/ Companionship is the new top use case. There are two other entrants in the top 5: “Organizing my life” and “Finding purpose.”” – Harvard Business Review
And if you are thinking it is only the “nerd in the basement” that is using AI as a friend, think again. AI is empathic, friendly and never gets tired. It agrees with you and gives you solid advice with gentle nudges. And it is always there. As the voice features developed, it was easy to see how people started using it as a resource to keep them company or to seek advice. Often about relationships.
The need for IRL
I am a great user of AI. And whilst I have shared some difficult situations with my ChatGPT, I have often done so with the intent of finding practical solutions, writing letters of complaint and not much else. I have not used it to work through a problem, because I am lucky to have friends at the distance of a phone or a car ride and a partner who, despite his preference for talking, is no doubt a good listener. Not everyone can count themselves so lucky.
But many are in this position because they have withdrawn, because they have focused on digital superfluous relationships, because they have lost trust. So I don’t blame them. I do, however, put out a nudge for people to slightly break this wall of fear we have put around us. Fear of ridicule, fear of getting hurt, fear of being “found out”. Fear of living in the real world. That will all happen, but that is ok, it is part of being connected.
I may be over-reaching today. But sometimes I like to step the mark. Being authentic is hard. I never said otherwise. But it will be worth it. It will allow us to be more connected, to find our tribe, to live for real.l.
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