Over the last couple of weeks, I have been doing a 21 Days Abundance Meditation. A good friend invited me and I thought it would be interesting to try it out. It was a lot about money but much more about how you think of it and how it affects your choices. At the end of it, my last task was to reflect on what I learnt, which I have done on video, but I thought I would also share it here, in perhaps a longer version.
Me and Money
In the beginning, it was not clear that the 21 days path would do much for me. It was very focused on money and, the truth is, I am not super focused on money. Probably, because I was fortunate to never have lacked money. Partly also because I don’t like to limit my choices by it. I keep scarcity away. Again, probably because I was very rarely short of it.
But scarcity mindset can touch anyone. It does not mean you are poor, it only means you see the limits of it. So in a way, the first thing this path did for me was to get me more in touch with myself and how I feel about money. As much as I always believe I am going to be OK, the truth is, I still do limit myself a lot by financial considerations. Hard not to.
I found the practical bits better than the meditation bits. Every day, we had daily tasks to fulfill. I am a practical animal, I enjoy my to-dos. The more practical the better. I don’t mind that they make me think, but I generally do prefer that I can keep them to myself. But I digress.
I enjoyed thinking about all the people that have brought value to my life, about the people that I see as “happy”, even writing a thank you letter to someone that has really hurt me in life. OK, maybe I enjoyed that last one a bit less. I particularly enjoyed (after a moment of initial panic) to create my own group and bring more people into the journey. The cleansing bits were probably less valuable, only because I have removed a lot of toxicity from my life already in the last few years.
I was a good student, and except for the odd task, where I felt it beyond myself to do it, I have complied with it. I will do that one task one day.
I enjoyed the audios but I really did struggle with staying in the mantras of the meditation. As the days evolved, I really struggled with time. The truth is, I don’t have an established meditation practice. I don’t even know when the right time is for me to meditate. I have not found that out yet.
So I started being anxious. Anxious that I was not making the most of the meditation, and maybe the whole thing “would not work”. That I would not get enough benefits. That the meditation did not work on the go (which is my style of fake meditation). Or that I fell asleep half way through it if I tried to do it in the evening. Maybe this was all too much self-care. Is there such a thing? Can one be a meditation person and another not?
I think not, but I have not yet cracked the code on this one. Recommendations welcome.
This is when my scarcity mindset really kicked in. Whilst I don’t have a scarcity mindset in what concerns my finances (even when I sometimes should), the same can’t be said about my time. Time is my greatest asset. In moments of overwhelm, I can’t help but think if only. If only I had more flexibility with my time. Or if only I just had more time. I feel very little abundance with my time.
Taking a deep breath (and a few days later), I got myself out of the task in which I got stuck, left the guilt of leaving it behind and the fear that I would break the entire process and moved on. I took a leap into the remaining days, not judging the quality of my meditation or focus (and certainly not judging myself that I was so behind). Goodbye scarcity, hello abundance of thought.
Growth vs Perfection
“You are a perfectionist”. That is what Catia said. It was no surprise to me. But during the year that we worked together, I really left that limitation behind. The limitation of perfection, replacing instead with a mindful approach and a growth mindset.
Why be perfect, when you can be yourself.Some book cover I saw on the Tube
Perfection is something I have left behind. Growth is what I strive for. But sometimes, I still forget. After all, I am NOT perfect. So I need to remind myself I have plenty of time, especially if I worry less about it and enjoy it much more. I have a full 168 hours each week, so each Monday I get to start afresh and give it another go. That means I have plenty of time to enjoy all the abundance of opportunities the world gives me. I love all the opportunities, even the ones I chose to let go.
For me, the abundance meditation was not transformational. But then again very few things in life are. Having a child, moving countries, that can be transformational.
However, it was a good reminder that it is path, not the destination, and abundance comes up at every corner. It was a growth experience and I know I always make space for growth. Namaste.
PS – Let me know if you want to join me next time I decide to repeat this experience!