Achieving Consistency

I don’t always want to write. And I don’t always feel like writing. But I always love writing. And I always feel good about the outcome (even if I always think I could have done it differently). Today is one of those days where I dabbled in different things, probably out of the fact my day was just so diverse and my head is just so full. But I quit the scrolling and opened my OneNote. I need to recover my consistency.

The early days

I started writing because I always had the ambition of being a writer (since 4th grade counts as always, right?). Sick of having half-started books across different topics and procrastinating with the technology that would finally help me do it (as if pen and paper or a simple Word document would not do), I accepted that I did not have the consistency it required. I was working extremely long hours, working on the charity every night and I had 2 young children. It was just not going to happen. I did not spend enough time in one idea, I was not even writing regularly, despite having started my first blog in 2007. In summary, I had spouts of intensity but I was not really consistent. That meant no book.

Knowing yourself

As with everything, the first step often lies in awareness. So I embraced the little that I knew – I wanted to call myself a writer (which in today’s world no longer correlates exclusively with publishing a book) and I knew I was not consistent with my writing. I knew I was a perfectionist (funny to use the past tense) and I knew I could procrastinate. Not knowing exactly the playbook to follow, I found excuses. However, I wanted to set myself up for success this time. And call myself a writer.

With this in mind, I sat down with a friend who was in the social media management space and asked for her advice. I remember 2 big snippets from the conversation. Be consistent and publish every week (day or month, whatever you decide, but make it a rule). Write about your authentic self and what matters to you.

That is how Make Space for Growth was born. For years, I published every week, rain or shine (it was London, so usually rain), sleep-deprived or ill, whether I had something to talk about or not. I decided to do it on Mondays (not a great day for me, I have to admit) but that was the rule. I did not know as much about habits as I do now, but I made it as simple as possible, writing often on my OneNote app on the go and uploading into WordPress app whilst on the tube on the way home, if I was lucky to have it all done by then, reserving post-dinner time for small edits and posting. The rule was to publish and for years I allowed myself no exceptions.

When Habits Break

“When you break a habit twice, you are making it a habit out of breaking a habit” – James Clear

I have said this to myself for as long as I have read book Atomic Habits years ago. When I read it, I realised how many things I was not on the right path, but also how I had done some things right, like my writing habit and my morning yoga habit. I finally figured out why these had been unbreakable, even in very tough times.

Until they weren’t. You only have to allow doubt to creep in once, and then each step goes back to being a decision, each decision allows space for procrastination. I used to know that Monday nights were my writing nights. I did not plan to do anything else, because that is what I did. I used to know that I worked every night from 9 to 11 pm on the charity, so there was no debate about whether to go to bed earlier. I used to know that I get up every day to do yoga at 6.00 to then start with getting ready for work at 6.30. There was no decision the moment the alarm clocked rang.

I don’t remember what caused it, and I probably can come up with a few lame excuses. But they would just be that – excuses. Now, one could argue I had a bunch of good reasons, but deep down, I know I broke the habit, and then I made a habit out of breaking the habit. I lost consistency.

Adapting Consistency

In reality, some of these habits were hard to keep in my new life when I started commuting to London. What I failed to realise was the importance of adjusting your habits in order to stay consistent. You don’t have to keep the rules, only the outcome. If I think about the writing, Mondays just did not work when I was getting up at 4.30am to get on a 6am flight, or later when I started having Monday evenings be the only day I could be out with friends because I started commuting to yet another European city before heading back home on Wednesday. 6.00am just did not work when I was getting up at irregular times every other week and even within a week depending on which city in Europe I was in. Plus, I did not have a yoga mat in my hotel room, which I would usually place by my bed at home, to ensure I would trip on it getting out of bed, leaving me no excuse to forget.

“In theory, consistency is about being disciplined, determined and unwavering. In practice, it is about being adaptable. Don’t have much time? Scale it down. Don’t have much energy? Do the easy version. Find different ways to show up depending on the circumstances. Let your habits change shape to meet the demands of the day. Adaptability is the way of consistency.”

James Clear

Consistency over intensity

I am intense. You probably have figured that out by now. When I am into something, you can see energy fuming out of my head. Well, at least I think you can, because I can picture it, I can feel it. I apply heart and soul to what I do and I often don’t stop until I get it done. I am also one of those people that gets a kick out of ticking items off the to-do list, so that probably also explains maintaining high levels of intensity.

For years, I have been intense in many areas of my life – my former job, my charity, my friends, my family. When I am there, you can feel it. But, as much as it pains me, I am also known for dropping the ball at times, to just be completely MIA. Without necessarily fair warning. For almost 20 years that was the case on pretty much everything but my job. For the first 10 years of the charity, I was also able to maintain a high level of consistency, even if it was at night, but as soon as I had kids, things started getting trickier. Still, I adjusted the habits. But when all my habits had to change during the pandemic and then when I moved countries yet again, I was flimsy. By then, in order to maintain a consistently high level of intensity at work, I operated in bursts of intensity in everything else. These were often unpredictable, making me sometimes unreliable, which I must say, is one of the things that I am probably least proud of. So I just applied more strength to the energy bursts, hoping that could take me through it and be transformed in consistency, but over the last couple of years, that was just not enough.

Regaining consistency

It took time for me to understand how someone like me, so reliable, so consistent in so many ways, could also be such a procrastinator and so inconsistent in others. Someone so strategic with her life and work undermining so much of it with tactical mistakes that could be solved with simple habits.

It also took some kindness to self.

There were many ways in which I tried to recover consistency over the years. But ultimately, when I left my corporate job, I allowed myself to break all habits and design from scratch. With that, it was not just the yoga, but also a lot of the writing and podcasting that went out of the door. After years of putting myself out there, I was retreating right when it was probably going to be the least helpful. Now that I had the time to workout, I was unable not to build a habit out of it  How did I suddenly become so inconsistent?

I didn’t, I just had a very rigid definition of what consistency means. I faced consistency of habits as consistency of outcomes, when indeed by habits just needed to be adapted.

When you are in your year to explore and living a portfolio life, there aren’t a lot of routines. Since the summer, I decided I needed to build some new routines into my life and be more consistent. I believe that will get me better results and will help me feel more in control. It will also reduce the decision overwhelm. Recently, I drew on a piece of paper the areas I was going to be spending time on, together with an affirmation of what it meant for me, my new business and my legacy. It’s the start of a framework that will keep me accountable to say yes to the right things and no to the wrong ones, if there is any right or wrong. I may revisit the list at times, but what I don’t want is to make every decision a big one.

Since then, I have regained consistency, because there is a why and there is a clear view of the outcomes. Slowly, I am forming habits that combine my need for consistency to stay in control with the intensity that I can apply to gain extra focus when the situations warrant it.

In my ideal world, I am intense and consistent. I don’t know if that is possible at the level of intensity that I operate at.

The solution is to find a consistent base from which to operate, and hope bursts of intensity will keep showing up as I recover my energy levels. Do you find that you are consistent? Or are you a fast-started creator who lives from energy bursts but does not always take their idea to the next day?