Posted by I am someone who has a good amount of faith, but at the same time, I am not one to rely on it. I do pray, though, coming to think of it, not necessarily targeted to practical things. I go to Fátima, but again, not to make promises in exchange for specific things. And then this week I was caught off guard when someone offered me a wishing bracelet and urged me to ask 3 wishes.
Senhor do Bonfim
In Portugal, this was a thing when we were teenagers. “Imported” from Brazil, this kind of fabric bracelet would stand on your wrist for months, even years if you got (un)lucky, making a statement that you too belonged to that crowd. You had chosen your three wishes and delivered them to the willingness of Our Lord of Bonfim. Did that mean you no longer needed to do anything for it? Or did that just mean you could hope for one bit longer?
I don’t have a particular memory of my wishes back then, I’m not even sure I had all 3, but I had one of these bracelets.
According to the internet, the Senhor do Bonfim bracelets emerged in 1809 in Salvador, Brazil. They were 47 cm-long silk measures matching the arm length of the statue of Our Lord of Bonfim. They were worn around the neck or in prayer books as a symbol of devotion or a token of a promise. They evolved into cotton ribbons worn around the wrist or tied to church gates. Each ribbon colour would match an Orixá (deity).
By the early 20th century, they had firmly transformed into today’s bands. You are meant to ask for 3 wishes and wait for it to fall naturally, signifying the wish was granted. What started as a symbol of devotion evolved into a hope for something in return, keeping the object close to perhaps remind you of what you wished for.
Wishing traditions
Over the years, I have observed different wishing rituals, some that I respect more than others. So, I decided to do some more investigation. Coin tossing at fountains drives me mad. That one must qualify as my least favourite of them all, even if I respect that in some places they come with a meaning. I mean, people do it at EuroDisney fountains – there can be no meaning there! In theory, this practice originates from ancient pagan rituals, where water spirits or gods were offered coins to secure blessings and protection. The ritual of throwing coins at Fountain of Trevi over the left shoulder (1, 2, or 3, depending on what you are aiming for) were popularized after a movie from the 50s and now yields €1.4 M yearly (distributed to charity, so there is one good thing coming out of it).
Another tradition I found in recent years is more local. In Aveiro, there are simple canal footbridges. One in particular is filled with ribbons and locks symbolising love, friendship and remembrance. I like these ones a bit more. It is more about promising and doing it yourself rather than waiting for your tracks.
A lost sense of agency
You see where I am going with all this. Over the years, I have relied on faith and prayer as a source of strength and support, so I could pursue my goals, or shall I say, my own wishes. I have absolutely nothing against wishes. In fact, I think a bit more ambition would do people good. But that comes with the sense of agency of pursuing this ambition (and the belief you can do it), with perhaps some spiritual support along the way.
Looking back on what might have been some teenage wishes, I now know that was all they were. Wishes that were buried inside and put into a bracelet. In general, wishes that I did not feel I had much power to change, and therefore did not do much about them, let alone talk about them. That would break the spell, right?
Synchronicity
In The Artist Way, Julia Cameron talks about this at length. And I guess I am slowly trying to come to terms with it. Perhaps to a place where my rational meets my faith.
“The universe will reward you for taking risks on its behalf.”
Shakti Gwan
I guess this is the place where it all comes together for me. When the lady who offered me the pink ribbon urged me for my wishes, at first I thought
“I don’t do wishes, I do goals. They are SMART and come with a plan.”
And then I realised I was being square and not that fun (and borderline arrogant). This all took seconds. I guess she just thought I was debating my choice of wishes. All while I was mulling over a life decision on whether I believed in making wishes or not.
At the end of the day, maybe serendipity isn’t just about bumping into luck — it’s also about each tiny push we apply: the goals we set, the plans we dare to make, the moments we step forward even before the stars align, and yes, even the bracelets or the coin tossing.
“Possibility is far more frightening than impossibility.”
Julia Cameron
The funny thing about wishing rituals is that most times, when a wish actually becomes reality, we attribute it to all but that wishing ritual. That would be silly. It was just luck or coincidence. Which is where it all comes together for me – I do believe in the famous serendipity. Why else would I bother writing down goals and putting together a vision board? I do it because I want to express clearly what I wish for, and then, I want to get one step closer every day.
At the end, I did my 3 wishes. I remember them vividly, and they are a clear reflection of areas I want to effect change in my life. They depend on some universe intervention, perhaps, but they definitely also need a kick from ME. Do you have wishes you are striving for?