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Happy “Male Rib Day.” It’s a joke, of course. We all know it is, and a funny one by the way. But behind it, we can find core challenges that women still face: dependency and submission. There is still much to do as we pass yet another International Women’s Day. In some ways, it even feels like we have gone backwards. Keeping a positive and constructive tone, a few things come to mind if we want to keep the needle moving forward both on the real economy and inside people’s minds.
Economic Independence
Is it all about pay?
There are a few sides to economic independence. It starts, no doubt, with earning fairly. And, as we all know, and I won’t go down the beaten track, this is an area where progress has been made. Numbers are now published more often. But whilst there is movement, there is not sufficient speed that the gap gets evened out within any foreseeable generations.
And it is not just about pay, it is also about seniority and progression. Quotas can help at the entry level, but they are rarely the full solution for senior roles. In my experience, programs that help women level the playing field and showcase strong performers are often a more effective tool. Quotas may be necessary at the macro level, but they can create resentment (which we are seeing a lot of right now) and sometimes undermine women who would have progressed on merit alone.
You know, I have been told in the past that there is no more inequality; it is just that women are not trying hard enough to network and have relationships. And that in fact there are more women teachers and no one seems to be complaining (check salaries!). And this was at a time when we were all a bit more “woke”. Imagine what I would be told now!
What about financial literacy?
But it is not just pay. The other part of economic independence is financial literacy. We live in a time where governments do not necessarily have a strong interest in the population being financially literate. Greater literacy means less dependency, especially in more socialist environments. Governments also tend to benefit from systems where citizens remain dependent on handouts. Financial literacy empowers people differently: in how they plan their pensions, their savings, and their taxes. And it applies to men and women. But not alike.
When we look at financial literacy, we know this gap is wider for women. It is common for women to leave the household savings and investment decisions to men, to contribute without overall control of the expenses, to put all their money into the household and leave no cushion for future savings.
Without the right income level and without the right knowledge, it becomes very difficult to achieve independence. Financial independence is a key feature for women to truly have freedom of choice: whether that is in a job, a relationship, a home, a family, or any choice. And whether they make allowances to spend and save for themselves or only for everyone else.
This financial literacy can also be translated into running businesses. That is a large part of where I spend my time, working with women-owned businesses to help them scale and achieve greater returns, and to make money out of them, with no shame.
Women’s Health
The other large area I feel we are yet to make enough progress in is Women’s Health. I don’t claim to be an expert but, on the surface (and likely on the deep-end), we are far behind, be it in research or solutions to prevent, improve and treat women-specific issues. We took a while to accept that it is not a niche market. I do see more startups trying to address this, which is encouraging. Hopefully, we will see more research and better information that allows us to narrow down where investment is needed most. Hopefully, we will also see the capital and regulatory support required to bring these solutions forward.
I can’t help but feel that health is an area where women often get the short end of the stick. During the fertile years, women go through menstrual cycles, sometimes with severe symptoms, yet they are still expected to perform at the same level, whether at home or at work. The show must go on. And it is still somewhat of a taboo to talk about it. Women don’t feel comfortable expressing that, at certain times of the month, they may be more tired, more emotional, or simply less able to cope with certain tasks. Not because they are weak humans, but because their bodies are wired like this.
Then, of course, pregnancies interrupt these years with enormous hormonal and physical impacts. And yet there is a badge of honour attached to working until 38 weeks and then “popping the baby out” as if pregnancy were simply a visible bump (self-included, though I do count myself lucky). If you are building a career, the expectation is often to show that everything is fine and normal. The hormonal and mental aspects are pushed aside unless there is a physical medical risk.
And then, when the fertile years pass, you might think there is finally a break. Instead comes perimenopause and menopause, bringing brain fog, fatigue, and a whole range of symptoms that society is still largely unprepared to address.
All this happens while managing a job, a business, a household, a family, growing children, and ageing parents.
Expectations – what if we don’t want to have it all?
Limitations come from more than structural “hard” factors. The “soft” factors play a role just as big in affecting how much progress we can make. The first is culture and societal expectations. No matter how much progress we make, the expectations remain uneven. I saw an interesting meme this week that said:
“We hear the term working mom all the time. But how many times have you heard the term working dad?”
Silence. The expression itself reveals something: men are assumed to work. Therefore, there is no need to define a working dad (recognising all the prejudice that it inflicts on men with “different” choices as well). Women are “stay-at-home mums” or “working moms” — as if working were optional, or as if motherhood needed to be specified alongside it. And women wanting to make their choice have to carry the stereotypes that each of these terms embeds. In parallel, the term highlights the double expectation placed on women: yes, you work, but you are also expected to carry all other responsibilities.
And here I go again to the concept of mental load. Many great men are leaning in and taking on more responsibility (which women are meant to be very grateful for). But in many households, the planning, organising, and anticipating still sit largely with women. Often, the tasks are shared, but the task management is not. That mental load has a real impact on women’s ability to work, perform, and develop themselves, because the time and energy spent carrying it is time and energy not available elsewhere. The hidden cost is focus.
This is not just about how each one sets up their relationship. It’s also about society and language, from men and women alike. Even I have used the term “working mom.” After seeing that meme, I’m not sure I will use it again.
Guilt – guilty as charged
I’m speaking at a women’s event this week, and one of the questions addresses guilt. It is one of the most powerful limiting beliefs plaguing women’s progress. It’s guilt in every direction. You feel guilty for working and leaving your kids. You feel guilty for going home and leaving your team. You feel guilty for going to the gym instead of spending time with your partner. Or for spending time with your partner instead of your kids. Or with one child instead of the other. Or for going out with friends instead of organising your parents’ anniversary.
Trade-offs exist for everyone. But for many women, these choices come wrapped in guilt. It’s like a web that surrounds every decision. The guilt is there before, often during, and sometimes after each event. Even when you try to be present, there is often a small comment or expectation from society that triggers it again, reminding you of where you “should” be. Even if not meant, that is how women hear it. That cloud of guilt can hang over everything. And slow every move down.
Yes, International Women’s Day is a day of celebration. And perhaps today I sound a little more pessimistic than usual. Given the state of the world at the moment, that may not be surprising. But even with a glass half full, we can recognise that while much has been achieved, there is still a great deal left to do.
Photo Credits: A self-portrait, self-taken, self-done, mixed, uneven and with a smile.